


Decisions

by HeartofGenovia



Category: The Princess Diaries - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:22:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26546716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartofGenovia/pseuds/HeartofGenovia
Summary: After an interesting conversation with the Prime Minister, Queen Clarisse has a major decision to make about her future. Set right before and during the first PD movie.
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, this is the first time posting on this site but this story has been posted before on a different site so it may look familiar to some of you. I just want to say though that this story wouldn’t have been possible without the help of my friend and fellow writer RhondaStar, so just want to thank her for all her help :) I really appreciate it!
> 
>   
> Also, it’s a little different to what I normally write, but thanks for stopping by and I hope you all still enjoy it :) 

  
“Married?” Queen Clarisse exclaimed, shocked, as she stood behind the grand desk in her office, her hands resting atop of the polished marble surface.

  
It had been a good day up until that point, the sun had been shining and there hadn’t been a single drop of rain, perfect Genovian weather, though she was grateful for the Palace’s air-conditioning – a modern touch, when she’d first arrived it had been stifling in some of the rooms come summer.

  
“Yes, your majesty. We-,”

  
“We?” Exclaimed the Queen, interrupting the Prime Minister. “Who exactly is we?”

  
“Well myself, of course, and parliament,” the Prime Minister answered before continuing. “We feel, that for you to continue on the throne then you must… it’s unprecedented really, that’s all we’re concerned about…” He was stalling, and they both knew it. “It makes sense in terms of our constitution for you to, well, to remarry.”

  
“I see,” she answered, too shocked to say anything more as she slowly made her way to stand by the window for several moments before asking. “And whom do you all suggest I marry?”

  
Turning, the Prime Minister looked over at the Queen as she stood with her back to him. “Well we thought about Lord Michaels, you two have known each other for some years and we have noticed you have both become close over the last few months.”  


Turning, Clarisse stared over at him in disbelief. “Yes, it’s true he has been a good friend during these troubled times.” The truth was she had known for many years that Lord Michaels interest in her was for far more than friendship and he had pursued her for some time. She shook her head as she looked away, “I see him merely as a friend, nothing more.” She said matter of factly, as she looked back to the Prime Minister. “There are no romantic notions there, certainly not on my part.”

  
“Your majesty, King Rupert has been gone for two years now and although we accepted that you continue ruling until Prince Philippe was ready to take over at first, but with his unfortunate and tragic passing last year you cannot continue to rule the country of Genovia without a husband by your side.” The Prime Minister’s tone was more forceful than usual, and he steadied himself by leaning on the back of a chair as he studied the Queen.

  
Clarisse sighed heavily as she made her way back over to her desk and sat down behind it. If she were honest with herself she would have expected this some time ago, that they had allowed her to rule this long without interreference was something of a miracle but now with Philippe… she briefly closed her eyes.

  
“I see,” she answered solemnly and looked at a photo of herself and her late husband sitting on her desk for a long moment before addressing the Prime Minister again. “I shall need some time, to consider what has been said.”

  
“Of course, your majesty,” said the Prime Minister before heading to the door. “When do you leave for San Francisco?” 

  
“We fly out tomorrow morning,” she answered, still in a state of shock over their conversation. “Are you still planning to join us out there for the state dinner?”

  
“We are, providing all is well,” said the Prime Minister as he opened the door and turned back to her.  


“Well, all being well then, I will see you next in San Francisco.” The Queen said.

  
“Of course, your majesty,” bowed the Prime Minister before leaving her alone with her thoughts.   


X  


Up in her suite later that night, the Queen wrapped one of her cashmere shawls around her shoulders before picking up the shot of Whisky that she had sent down for, something she rarely did – but tonight’s musings required something a little more potent than cocoa.

  
The evening was warm and light and she stepped out onto her private balcony for a moment of solitude. It had been a long day, and she had just spent the last few hours after dinner packing for her trip to San Francisco with the help of her assistant Charlotte. When they bid each other goodnight, she had planned to take a shower and crawl straight into bed to try and rest well before tomorrow’s flight, but with so much on her mind she feared that sleep would not find her tonight.

  
Because if feeling nervous about meeting her granddaughter, Amelia, for the first time since she was a baby, and breaking the news to her that she's a Princess wasn't enough to worry about, she now had the added worry of the Prime Minister’s words.

  
Lord Michaels, she thought as she sat down in one of her balcony chairs and placed her glass down on the table beside her while sitting back and looking out into the darkening night sky. Could she really go through another arranged marriage? She was a 65-year-old woman, who had worked very hard ruling on her own and keeping her beloved country of Genovia in check since her husband, King Rupert’s sudden passing just two years ago.

  
They had spent 45 years together after an arranged marriage all those years ago, something she hated with a passion to begin with only being nineteen at the time but she knew her duty, it had been drummed into her from the moment they first met when she was 16 and over time they actually grew very fond of one another. If she was honest with herself, she was still angry with her husband for leaving her so suddenly. Leaving her to rule on her own and cope with the loss of their youngest son last year, and now the thought of having to go through it all again just to keep the throne. The throne that was only betrothed upon her through marriage, not blood, made her question all she had worked so hard for.   


Taking a sip of the Whisky she had brought out onto the balcony with her, the liquid burning her throat as she swallowed, her mind wondered back to Lord Michaels. He wasn’t a bad looking man really, any woman would be lucky to have him by her side. He was certainly appropriate, with impeccable breeding and manners with a long family line stretching back generations and she was certainly aware of his feelings towards her.   


But he was not the one who had her heart.   


There was someone else, someone in the shadows who she had known for just as long as she had been Queen. He was headstrong, very, very handsome, also with impeccable breeding and a long family line dating back generations too and someone she would certainly jump at the chance to marry if given the chance, but he was unfortunately out of bounds for someone like her.  


Or rather, she was out of bounds for somebody like him.

  
Their positions. Their class. Their roles. The country would never accept it.

  
Sighing heavily, she got to her feet and moved to stand by the balustrade on her balcony, placing her hands down on the top of it as she overlooked her gardens for several long moments before retiring to her suite to at least try and get some sleep.   



	2. Chapter 2

The Queen, her entourage of security and her assistant, Charlotte, had all been in San Francisco for a week now. The meeting with her granddaughter went better than expected, well, at first it did. The moment Amelia found out she was a Princess she had a brief moment of distress before running away, leaving her grandmother alone in the garden at the Genovian consulate. But after seeing her the following day, she managed to get her to agree to attend Princess lessons.

  
They had a matter of weeks to prepare Amelia and for her to decide if she would accept her role as Princess of Genovia and announce it at the Genovian Independence Day ball, and a matter of weeks for the Queen to know her own fate. Something she hadn’t even had time to think about since her arrival in San Francisco. She hadn’t had much time to do anything really, except for keeping on top of official papers, other royal duties and, of course, ‘Princess lessons’. 

  
Somehow she managed to steal five minutes to just simply sit on her own in her office, to process everything that’d been happening over the last week. Today’s lesson, with the help of Joseph, her head of security, chauffeur and baby-sitter (as he called it), they were giving Amelia, or rather Mia as she would prefer to be known, a dancing lesson. They were going to attempt to teach her to dance, and neither of them had any idea how it was going to turn out. 

  
Hearing a knock on her office door pulled her from her thoughts, Queen Clarisse let out a heavy sigh before commanding. “Come.” 

  
Opening the door, Charlotte entered and looked over at the Queen sitting so elegantly behind her desk. “I have just finished setting up the ballroom for today’s lesson, your majesty.”  


“Thank you, Charlotte,” the Queen nodded, “and Amelia?” 

  
“She is on route, your majesty.” Charlotte answered and bowed her head as the Queen got to her feet.   


X  


Sitting at the table in the ballroom as the music played, Queen Clarisse tried her best to get on with the paperwork while Joseph taught her granddaughter a Genovian alternative that Mia had dubbed the ‘wango’, but they were too distracting to focus and all too soon the lesson was over, leaving both the Queen and her head of security pleasantly surprised that she had done so well. 

Once the Queen had dismissed her granddaughter for the day, she began to pack up the paperwork on the table when Joseph suddenly appeared beside her and reached his arm across in front of her to press the play button on the CD player. Taking her hand in his, he led her to the middle of the ballroom where they swayed together to the music. Something that had happened many times between them before, and was certainly something that made her pulse quicken at the thought of being this close and being in perfect sync with him.

  
Her head of security. 

  
The man who had her heart.  


She hadn’t danced with anyone like this other than her husband, and it always stirred something deep within her when they did. She was sure over the years that she had been careful to keep her feelings for him private, but now she thought about it, could it be he felt the same way about her?

  
X

Later that evening, as she slipped on a pair of comfortable flat shoes and wrapped a shawl around her shoulders preparing for a walk around the consulate gardens, she couldn’t clear her mind of the words he had told her so softly right before he took her hand, or the look in his eyes as they danced together. 

  
Biting her lip, she slowly made her way down the curved stairway. “You’ve been wearing black too long.” She heard him say once again in the back of her mind and she began to wonder if he had been right. Had she really been wearing black for too long?

  
It had been two years since she first began to wear all black, after the loss of her husband and then her son. It seemed that Joseph had been the only one to have noticed, and she began to wonder if he had actually noticed other things about her as well. 

  
Reaching the door leading to the gardens moments later, Queen Clarisse reached out for the door handle when a voice coming from behind her made her jump and spin around in surprise. Putting her hand to her chest, she could feel her heart beating wildly against the palm of her hand and she had never felt more relieved to see Joseph standing there than she ever had before. But was her heart beating that wildly a result of jumping, or was it beating in response to being caught by Joseph?

  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you jump. Are you okay?” He said softly as he hastened towards her now leaning back against the door.

  
“Yes, I think so,” she said with a small wave of her hand, in an effort to stop him from coming closer in fear that he would hear her heart pounding in her chest, before she put it up onto her forehead and closed her eyes. 

  
“Shall I fetch you a glass of water, or perhaps a chair?” He asked while putting his hand gently on her forearm, concerned for her wellbeing. 

  
“No no,” she exclaimed with a shake of her head and opened her eyes to look at him, “I’m fine, honestly,” she said more softly while standing up straight and pulling the shawl tighter around her shoulders. “I feel much better now I’ve had a moment to compose myself.”

  
Seeing the sincerity in her eyes, he nodded and stepped back one step. “Of course, your majesty.” He said and bowed his head. “Was there something you needed?”

  
“I’m sorry?” She said, momentarily forgetting the reason why she was down there in the first place. “Oh,” she exclaimed before continuing, “I thought with it being such a lovely evening that I would take a walk around the gardens.”

  
“Alone?” Joseph said and unable to stop himself, continued, “you weren’t trying to escape me, were you?” He teased. 

  
“Oh goodness, me?” The Queen exclaimed, pretending to be offended as she put her hand to her chest once again. “How on earth can I escape you, you watch every move I make I wouldn’t stand a chance, or at least get very far if I did.” She said and they both laughed.

  
“In that case then, would you like some company, your majesty?” He asked while clasping his hands together behind his back and watched as she looked down between them momentarily.

  
Looking back up at him, the Queen found herself nodding. “I would like that.”

  
X  


  
  
“It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it?” The Queen asked while looking up at the moon high in the sky.   


Following her glance, Joseph nodded, “it certainly is, your majesty,” he agreed and looked back at the Queen, his Queen. There was something he had wanted to ask her, something that had been troubling him for several days now but he had never found the right time, until now. “Your majesty, is everything quite alright?”

  
“How do you mean?” She asked in surprise as she looked at him. 

  
“Well ever since we have been in San Francisco, you haven’t been yourself, your majesty,” Joseph answered and watched as she looked on ahead. 

  
“Oh,” was her reply. 

  
“You know that you can talk to me, if there’s anything bothering you. Don’t you?” Joseph said as the Queen finally looked back at him. “We’ve known each other long enough to be honest, have we not?”

  
“Thank you, but it’s nothing, really. Just worrying about Amelia, that’s all,” Clarisse said and looked on ahead.

  
“Your majesty, I have known you long enough to know when you are lying,” he said and watched as she looked back at him in surprise. “A lot of things I let lie, but not this time. There is something else bothering you.”

  
Stopping on the path, Clarisse watched as Joseph too paused and turned to her. “Alright, I did lie but only because it’s my problem and I didn’t want to burden you with it.”  


“Now you know that isn’t true,” he said and rested his hand gently on her forearm, “you will never burden me with your problems. I am here for you, your majesty.” 

  
“Thank you, Joseph,” she said and nodded while turning her head away slightly, wondering if she should tell him or not. Hesitating, worried how he would react, if he would react, she continued. “The thing is, the day before we left for San Francisco the Prime Minister came to see me.”

  
“I remember,” he nodded and looked on ahead as they continued on their walk, “he didn’t stay long.”

  
“No, he didn’t,” she said shaking her head and exhaled a deep breath before continuing. “He came to tell me that, if Amelia doesn’t accept her role as a Royal, and because there has never been a Queen on the throne on her own before then in order for me to continue to rule Genovia then I would need to remarry… another arranged marriage.” 

  
“I beg your pardon?” He said and stopped. Had she just said what he thought she had said?   


“It’s true, I can’t quite believe it myself either,” she said, turning to him as he stood looking at her. “I have worked so hard to get where I am today, and I have done it by myself ever since Rupert’s passing.” 

  
“Yes, you have, and you have done a splendid job too. But who?” He said and shook his head, hardly wanting to know, as she looked back at him, “Who do they suggest you marry?” 

  
“Lord Michaels,” she said simply. 

  
“That is absolutely absurd,” he exclaimed, “how can they possibly expect you to marry him?”

  
“I know, I have no feelings towards him whatsoever,” the Queen said as they began, once again, to continue on their walk. “But then I never had feelings for Rupert when we married, and we grew very fond of one another over the years. Maybe it will happen like that again.” She sighed.

  
“No, surely there is another option?” Joseph said and they looked at one another for the longest time. “You are Queen, you surely have more of a say now?” 

  
“Joseph, I have been told I need to remarry in order to continue to rule. I doubt they are going to give me a choice on who I can marry,” Clarisse said sadly. 

  
“That is wrong, you should be allowed now,” Joseph said, “you need someone who is going to love you for you not who you are, or what you are. Someone that will be proud to have you on their arm, not someone who will merely show you off, like some sort of prize.” 

  
She would have laughed if it all weren’t so heartbreakingly raw. “Unfortunately, there aren’t many good men like that these days.” She smiled softly, “The men I have encountered over the years are just like you described, wanting a prize and only after one thing,” Clarisse said and looked down at the pathway, “especially Lord Michaels.”  


“Not all men are like that, your majesty,” he said and watched as she stopped walking and turned to look up at him. “There are some men out there that are kind, proud and protective of the woman they love.” 

  
“Someone like you, you mean?”

  
Looking away, Joseph cleared his throat before looking back at her and continuing. “Someone like that yes, definitely. I didn’t mean me, as such. But that man, Lord Michaels certainly is not that man and most certainly doesn’t deserve you. That’s all I’m saying, your majesty. If you would permit me to be so brave, and, perhaps a little too forward.”

She briefly touched his hand, “I appreciate your candour.” she said solemnly and studied his face a moment before looking away. “Excuse me, won’t you,” she said, feeling foolish as she made a hasty retreat back to her suite, leaving Joseph too shocked to move. 


	3. Chapter 3

After dropping Mia at school the following morning, Joseph returned to the palace and made his way straight to the Queen’s office. He hadn’t slept the previous night, mulling over everything they had discussed and trying to form an idea to help his friend, his Queen and the woman he had loved in secret for oh so many years.  
  
But upon reaching her office, he was surprised to find it was empty. She wasn’t behind her desk, waiting for his return like she had been every morning since their arrival in San Francisco, something he looked forward to every morning. Seeing her beautiful smile, greeting him. It was only then he realised he hadn’t seen Charlotte like he normally did upon his return either. Raising his eyebrow he turned and made his way to the security hub.  
  
“Morning boss, did Princess Mia get to school alright?” Asked Stephen, one of the security team as Joseph walked in the door and stopped.  
  
“Hmm?” He said, momentarily distracted at the fact the Queen was missing before nodding, “yes, of course she did.” He said and looked up at him. “Stephen, tell me. Have you seen the Queen, or her assistant this morning?”  
  
“Yes, but very briefly,” he answered with a nod. “Her highness had Lars take herself and Charlotte out this morning.”  
  
“Out?” He exclaimed, “out where?”  
  
“I don’t know boss,” Stephen said with a shake of her head. “They never said where they were going.”  
  
“Oh, there wasn’t anything planned for this morning,” Joseph answered, trying to remember if he had forgotten an appointment, or meeting. “Did they say when they would be back?”  
  
“Just later this morning, or possibly early afternoon. They never gave a specific time. Just that they would definitely be back before Mia’s arrival after school.” Stephen answered.  
  
“Oh!” Joseph said, feeling slightly deflated that he had missed her before she left, or more to the point that she hadn’t waited for his return for him to take them out instead of Lars, like she had always insisted on doing before.  
  
X  
  
Sitting out in the consulate gardens a short time later, Joseph took a sip of his coffee and reflected on the years he had spent working for the Genovian Royal family. His first role as a low-ranking security detail, but then through hard work and determination he was soon promoted to the Queen’s head of security by the King himself. It had been something he had always taken pride in, protecting the Queen - the woman he secretly loved, and even promised the King on his deathbed that he would always, no matter what, look after. She had always, and would always, be his first priority.  
  
He would often think back to that evening, when the King had made him promise to always look after his beloved wife, Clarisse. The tone of his voice, the look in his eyes, Joseph always wondered if he, the King, had known, man to man, about his feelings for the Queen. He couldn’t see how, having never told anyone his secret but perhaps he had given something away without realising. A look, a glance, something so casual as a smile at a particular moment. Perhaps a hand that lingered a second too long on her arm as he helped her from the car. It was often quite soul-destroying to him that the sum-part of their relationship boiled down to these tiny, insignificant moments. That the love of his life was a woman he had never even really held.  
  
The dance from the previous day still lingered temptingly in his mind, it had felt different somehow than when they had danced together before. It was different because, he suddenly realised, even though he had instigated it she had allowed them to dance in the ballroom together, and not in the privacy of her suite where they had danced all those times before. Or rather where he had taught her many times before, these early years when she was still somewhat clumsy and he had helped her perfect the steps and build her confidence. As a child his friends had mocked him for being a dancer, for the lessons he took and the years of hard work. But it had proved so useful as the years had passed.  
  
Last night had been different altogether, how she had spoken to him on their walk, how she had touched his hand right before she hurried away, it made him wonder.   
  
Does she feel the same way he did about her?  
  
Shaking his head at the thought, he took another sip of his coffee and set to working, he had plenty to do as he waited for her return.  
  
X  
  
He had been informed a little before one that the Queen and her assistant had returned to the consulate, though where they had been exactly he didn’t know, but it was another good hour before he finally saw her. He had been stood in the foyer talking to Charlotte when she began making her way down the stairs towards them and she looked different.   
  
She wasn’t wearing black like he had expected her to be, she was actually wearing a dark purple tweed skirt suit, with a lilac colour blouse, and she looked absolutely beautiful. It had been so long since she had worn colour and he realised that those six small words he had spoken to her immediately before they danced must have had more of an impact on her than he thought they would.   
  
“I have the papers for you, your majesty,” Charlotte said as the Queen made her way over to them.  
  
“Thank you, Charlotte,” smiled Clarisse as she came to a stop in front of them and took the paperwork from her, “can you please let me know when Paolo has arrived.”  
  
“I will, of course, your majesty,” Charlotte bowed and watched as the Queen looked at Joseph.   
  
“Good afternoon, Joseph,” she said and turned to her office door. Putting her hand out, she pushed down the handle and led the way inside.   
  
“Good afternoon, your majesty,” his said, following her as she walked over to her desk.   
  
“I trust you had a good morning,” she replied with a smile as she took her place behind her desk and placed the paperwork down before looking over at him standing just inside the door, “and that Mia got to school safely.”  
  
“She did of course, your majesty,” he replied and slowly walked over to stand in front of her desk as she took a seat behind it and slipped on her glasses.   
  
“That’s good,” she said and glanced down at the paperwork before looking back up at him. “I’m sorry Joseph, but I do need to make a start on the paperwork before Paolo arrives.”  
  
“Of course, your majesty,” Joseph said and watched as she looked down at the paperwork and picked up her pen. “I’ll be leaving shortly to pick up Princess Mia from school.”  
  
“Very good,” she nodded and looked up at him, “thank you Joseph, for everything.”  
  
“It’s my pleasure, your majesty,” he said and bowed his head before walking out of her office to leave her to get on with the stack of paperwork. Closing the door, he stood a long moment as he began to wonder, was she trying to avoid him?  
  
Watching him leave and the door close behind him, Clarisse slumped back in her chair with a heavy sigh. Had she been to cold towards him? But before she had a chance to think any more of it, her office phone rang. A call from the Prime Minister back in Genovia regarding the upcoming state dinner.   
  
X   
  
That evening, after dropping Princess Mia back home Joseph parked the limousine in the consulate garage for the night and decided to take a walk around the gardens, to just have ten minutes to himself before going inside. But just a short time later, he came to a sudden stop when he saw the Queen sitting on the bench hidden amongst her roses. She was simply staring down at the floor, lost deep in her thoughts, with a shawl wrapped around her shoulders and her hands clasped together in her lap.   
  
As he watched her, he wondered what she was thinking and straight away he thought about what they had talked about last night, about Lord Michaels, and how one day he may end up being the Queen’s husband.   
  
Shuddering at the thought, he suddenly realised how he might be able to help.   
  
“Penny for your thoughts,” he asked softly, slowly approaching her on the bench.   
  
Turning her head, she wasn’t in the least bit surprised that it was Joseph. “Hello,” she said and watched as he walked slowly over to her.  
  
“Is everything okay? You looked a million miles away,” he said, standing beside her.  
  
“I’m afraid to admit I was,” the Queen answered while scooting to the left a little, giving him some room to join her on the bench.   
  
“Anything you would like to talk about?” He asked and took the seat she offered.   
  
“It’s okay,” she said with a shake of her head and looked up at him. “Did Amelia get home safely?” She said, wanting to change the subject.  
  
“She did,” he nodded and turned his head to look at her.   
  
“Good,” she said as they held one another’s gaze a long moment before she finally looked away. “I can’t believe how different she looks after her makeover.”  
  
“Me too,” he said, nodding in agreement. “She looks just like you.”   
  
Turning her head, Clarisse couldn’t help but smile at his words. “Do you really think so?”  
  
“I do,” he said and nodded while looking back at her. “I remember seeing a photo that you kept on your mantlepiece many years ago from when you were her age and she’s the image of you.”  
  
“Yes, she is. You’re right,” she said, remembering herself from when she was her age. “I never really thought about her looking like me before, like her mother and father yes. But not me.” She smiled. “Thank you.”  
  
“You’re welcome,” he said and smiled at her a moment before looking away. “I am glad that you are here actually, there is something I want to talk to you about.”  
  
“Oh yes?” She said as he looked back at her, “and what might that be?”  
  
“What we talked about last night, about you having to remarry to keep the throne,” he said, watching as she got to her feet and walked along the path a little before coming to a stop.  
  
“Oh don’t, please. I haven’t even had chance to think about that today. I can’t think about it,” she said as he stood up and walked over to stand behind her. “I can’t even begin to imagine myself marrying him.”   
  
“You don’t have to,” he said and watched as she turned to face him, “I think I have found a way so that you don’t have to.”  
  
“Joseph, if Mia doesn’t accept her duty then I’m afraid I will have no choice,” she said, her voice sad and broken at the mere thought.   
  
“Not if you accept what I’m about to say,” he said and watched as she stared up at him.   
  
“What you’re about to say?” She shook her head now, as she looked away momentarily before looking back up into his eyes. “What do you mean?”  
  
“Marry me,” he said.  
  
She would have laughed, if she hadn’t seen how serious he looked. “Joseph, you can’t be serious? We can’t get married.”  
  
“Why not?” He asked and watched as she turned to walk a few feet away before stopping.  
  
“For one you are my head of security, I’m your boss,” she said and turned back to him. “And I’m your Queen, Parliament and my country would never accept it.”  
  
“Then I officially resign as your head of security, I quit,” he said and placed his hands on the tops of her arms. It was a daring move, and one he hoped she wouldn’t take offence at.  
  
“You can’t be serious,” the Queen laughed with a shake of her head. “You have worked so very hard to get where you are, you can’t just quit.”  
  
“Watch me,” he exclaimed and watched as she stood open mouthed in front of him, “let me do this for you, please?”   
  
“Joseph, you have lost your mind,” she said and shook her head, “now if you don’t mind I am going to bed now,” she added and turned quickly, overwhelmed by her thoughts.   
  
Watching her walk away, he knew he had to do something and fast. “Clarisse, I love you.” He exclaimed and watched as she stopped.   
  
Did she just hear him correctly, had he just called her by her first name, without her title?   
  
And… had he just told her that he loved her?  
  
Slowly turning, she looked at Joseph standing where she had left him. “It’s true,” he nodded, “I love you. I have done for years.” 


	4. Chapter 4

After standing for a moment in complete shock at Joseph’s words, and before she had chance to answer him, to tell him how she felt about him and that she in fact loved him too, Stephen a member of the security team appeared through the trees whilst out on his nightly checks of the grounds.   
  
“Good evening, your majesty,” Stephen said as he came to a sudden stop and watched as she pulled the shawl around her shoulders tighter, before glancing at Joseph, who remained stood a few feet away from her. “Is everything alright, your majesty?” He asked, perplexed.  
  
“Yes, yes,” she nodded as Stephen slowly moved closer to them, “everything’s fine, I, we,” she said, glancing towards Joseph before looking back at Stephen, “were just discussing Mia’s visit today,” she lied. “I will be returning to my suite shortly.”   
  
“Yes, your majesty,” Stephen said and bowed his head to her, before repeating the action to Joseph. “Boss.” He said and continued on his way.   
  
“Joseph, you know we can’t talk out here, I’m being watched constantly.” She said quietly and turned to him as he nodded.   
  
“I’m sorry, I should never had said what I said and put you on the spot like that,” Joseph answered as she moved the few feet to stand in front of him. “I should have waited until we were somewhere a bit more private.”  
  
“Come to my suite later, I think we need to talk,” she said and looked up into his eyes. “Don’t you?”  
  
“Of course, your majesty,” he said, bowing his head before watching her walk away.   
  
A million thoughts ran through his mind as he watched her go, he even began fearing that he had in fact crossed the line by telling her how he felt, for touching her on the tops of her arms, and for a brief moment he even considered leaving before she had chance to fire him. But he knew he had to face her, face the consequences for his actions no matter what the repercussions were.  
  
X  
  
Pacing her suite, Queen Clarisse wriggled her hands as she waited for Joseph to arrive. Why was she so nervous, she had never felt this nervous before, not even on her wedding day to Rupert. She should have felt relieved that he felt the same way she did, she just couldn’t understand it. But hearing a knock, she stopped pacing and looked towards the door as her tummy filled with butterflies.   
  
Walking over, she stood for several seconds to simply straighten out her blouse and to take a deep breath before finally opening the door to him. “Come in,” she said and stepped back for him to enter.   
  
Stepping into her suite, Joseph turned back to her and watched as she closed the door behind him. “I owe you an apology, your majesty.”  
  
“For what?” The Queen asked as she turned to him and folded her arms.   
  
“For what I said out in the gardens, I should never had-” but before he had a chance to finish what he wanted to say, she, the Queen, his Queen, had stepped forward to close the distance between them and put her hands up to cup his face as she closed her eyes and reached up to kiss him.   
  
That first kiss between them was everything she hoped it would be, his lips were soft and her body was reacting how she thought it would, melting against his. It had been a long time since she had been intimate with anyone and he was awakening something deep within her that she hadn’t felt in so long and it felt good, but scary.   
  
Reluctantly, Joseph broke the kiss a moment later and pulled back just enough to look down into her eyes whilst putting his hand up to brush her hair back behind her ear before cupping her beautiful face. He hadn’t wanted to be the one to break the most magical kiss he had ever experienced, and if it wasn’t for the fact they needed air he would have quite happily let it continue, and he was pretty sure she would have too.   
  
“You know, you should never apologise for how you feel,” she said while looking up into his desire filled eyes, “because the truth is, I feel the same way about you too.”  
  
“You do?” He said in surprise as she pulled back and walked over to stand by the balcony doors.   
  
“I do, and just like you I have done for years,” she said as she folded her arms loosely and turned back to him. “But we can never be together, Joseph. It would never work, you and I. We are both from different backgrounds, my people would never allow it.”  
  
Looking across at her, just watching her a moment before he finally nodded. He knew deep down that they couldn’t be together, but it never stopped how he felt about her. “I understand,” he said sadly and watched as she slowly walked back over to stand in front of him and put her hand up to cup his face, smoothing her thumb over his soft, perfect lips that just moments ago were pressed deliciously against hers.  
  
Watching as he took hold of her hand and turned his head to kiss her palm, she smiled softly. “I appreciate you trying to help me though by offering to marry me so I wouldn’t have to marry Lord Michaels,” she said and took a deep breath while lowering her hand from his grasp before continuing, “but it is what it is and if Mia doesn’t accept her destiny, then my destiny would be to marry Lord Michaels. I have no choice, or say, in the matter. And it just wouldn’t be fair getting into anything with you, when we could never have a future together.”  
  
“I understand, your majesty,” he said and bowed his head, “now if you’ll excuse me, I still have a few things that I need to do before I retire for the day,” and without saying another word, or bidding her goodnight, he simply left her suite and made his way back to his own.   
  
Where once he was behind his closed door, he just stood on the spot, staring across the room as his heart shattered into a million pieces. The only woman he had ever loved had just turned him down, he should have expected it with her being Queen but it still broke him all the same. 


	5. Chapter 5

Standing behind her desk, Queen Clarisse looked down at the envelope, that her head of security had just given her. She needed to take a long moment, a pause, reflect before she answered him. “Is this what I think it is?” She asked.   
  
“If you are thinking that it’s my letter of resignation, then yes you would be correct, your majesty.” Joseph answered from where he stood in front of her desk with his arms behind his back, hands clasped together, fingers tightly laced as he dug his nails into his own flesh in a bid to hold himself together.  
  
It had been but a few days since their first kiss, and although it was extremely difficult for him to write the contents of that letter, he knew it was the best way, the only way.   
  
“But why?” She asked with a small shake of her head, trying desperately to understand, to somehow change the contents of it by sheer force of will.   
  
“I feel, your majesty, that it would be for the best. Especially after… after recent events.” He breathed deeply, “If I haven’t been needed to help with Princess Mia’s lessons we have both been avoiding one another, and the tension –,”  
  
“That’s not true,” Queen Clarisse exclaimed, interrupting him. “We both know that I have been busy preparing for last night’s state dinner.”   
  
“All the same, your majesty, I think it’s for the best if I were to leave.” Joseph said, somewhat sadly as Clarisse’s gaze fell back to the envelope in her hands. “It’s not just that though, it’s also the fact that knowing how we both feel about one another now I simply cannot stand by and watch you marry and live a life with Lord Michaels. I did it with King Rupert, and I cannot…” he briefly closed his eyes to compose himself, “I will not do it again.”  
  
“Do you think it will be easy for me, living a life with that man when my heart belongs to another, and has done for years?” She said and looked back up at him, “but we don’t even know if it would come to that yet, Joseph. I may be spared from marrying him, I don’t know. No one does until the day of the Independence Day ball when Mia announces her decision.”  
  
“You’re right, no one knows what the future holds for any of us. But even if you are spared from marrying him, can we really go through everyday finally knowing how we feel about each other, working side by side and never being able to be together because of our different backgrounds? You said it yourself, we can never be together.” Joseph said and watched as she looked back down at the letter she still held in her hands. God she looked beautiful standing there in her pink knee length dress, and he hated doing this to her but he could see no other way. “I promised King Rupert that I would always look after you, that I would always protect you, and I will –,”  
  
“You’ll have a hard job doing that if you are leaving, won’t you?” Clarisse snapped at him, interrupting him once again as she looked up. “I just can’t believe this, that you want to leave after how many years working for us, for me,” she said and shook her head as a knock came to her office door. “Yes, come in!” She snapped hastily, without thinking.  
  
Entering her office, Charlotte looked up at Joseph first then at the Queen as she remained behind her desk. She knew that she was disturbing something between them from the tension she felt in the room when she entered. “I’m sorry to interrupt, your majesty. But Princess Mia has just arrived.”  
  
“Alright, I will be right out,” Queen Clarisse said more softly and nodded, “thank you, Charlotte.”  
  
Bowing her head, Charlotte left and closed the door behind her as Joseph looked back at the Queen, watching her as she placed his letter in her desk drawer. “I have to go and speak to Mia about last night’s incident, Helen called earlier to say that Mia didn’t sleep well because of it.” She said and looked up at him. “But in the meantime, can you promise me one thing?”  
  
“And what might that be?” He asked, watching her now as she walked around her desk to stand in front of him.   
  
“Promise me that you won’t leave until after Amelia has made her decision,” clasping her hands together, she looked up into his eyes a moment, “and if I do end up having to marry Lord Michaels, I will, with great reluctancy, accept your resignation.”  
  
After thinking about it a long, tense moment, Joseph nodded. “Alright, your majesty,”  
  
X  
  
“Boss,” Stephen said as he popped his head around the security-hub door and looked at Joseph sitting behind his desk.   
  
“What is it Stephen, I have a mountain of paperwork to get through?” Joseph answered as he looked over at him.   
  
“Her royal highness and Princess Mia have just arrived back, and you might want to come and see this,” Stephen said and watched as Joseph removed his glasses and placed them on top of the paperwork sitting on his desk.   
  
“What are you talking about?” Joseph said and stood to his feet to follow the younger man, curious to see what on Earth he was talking about and walking into the foyer a moment later, he soon discovered why. Because there stood by the door was the Princess and his Queen stood talking to a police officer. Raising his eyebrow, he made his way over to get to the bottom of what was going on.   
  
“Thank you again, kind officer,” smiled the Queen.   
  
“Anytime, your highness,” bowed the officer before leaving.   
  
“What’s going on?” Joseph asked as the Queen and Princess turned to him.   
  
“Oh, hey Joe! Me and grandma just had a little accident, but we are alright,” Mia smiled, “as you can see.”  
  
“What?” He exclaimed in shock. “What happened?”  
  
“I will tell you later, Joseph,” Queen Clarisse said before looking at her granddaughter, “are you going to stay for tea?”  
  
“Not today grandma, I promised mom I would spend the evening with her,” Mia said, nodding slightly. “But thanks for today, I really enjoyed it.”  
  
“Me too,” Clarisse smiled at her, then at Lars. “Lars, can you please run Mia home for me?”  
  
“Of course, your majesty,” Lars said and bowed his head.   
  
“See you tomorrow, grandma,” Mia smiled.  
  
“Yes, I will see you tomorrow. Enjoy your evening with your mom,” Clarisse smiled and watched as her granddaughter followed Lars out the door. Taking a deep breath, she turned to Joseph.   
  
“Okay, so what exactly happened?” He asked. “How come that officer brought you both home?”  
  
“Because we crashed into a bus and they had to take Mia’s car to the garage for repair, so that kind officer brought us home,” the Queen answered and began to walk towards her office.   
  
“I beg your pardon?” He exclaimed and watched as she walked a few feet before following her.   
  
“You heard what I said, Joseph,” Clarisse said with a shake of her head as she walked through her office door and over to her desk.   
  
“Yes, I did, but I can’t quite believe it. First you have obviously gone out without a guard,” he said while closing the door behind them and turned back to Clarisse as she placed her handbag down on her desk. “Then –,”  
  
“Oh, would you look at that,” she said sarcastically, interrupting him as she turned to him, “I managed to escape security.”   
  
“That’s not funny,” Joseph said firmly while walking over to stand in front of her.  
  
“I never said it was, I was just stating that I can, appear, to escape security,” the Queen replied. “Joseph listen, it’s been a long day and I have a headache.” She pressed a hand to her stomach remembering the corn dog, “And I must admit I’m feeling a little queasy. Do you mind if we talk about this later?”  
  
“No,” he said, taking both himself and the Queen by surprise at his response.  
  
“I beg your pardon? No?” The Queen repeated.   
  
“You make it sound like it’s not a big deal, your majesty, but the truth is yourself and Princess Mia could have been seriously hurt,” Joseph answered.  
  
“But we weren’t, we are perfectly fine,” she said and looked up at him. “No harm was done.”  
  
“Dammit woman, do you have any idea how anxious I felt when I saw you stood with that police officer, or how I feel now knowing that you have had an accident and that you had gone out without a guard?” He snapped as the Queen stood open-mouthed at him. He knew he had crossed the line, but at that moment all he was worried about was how she was.  
  
“I beg your pardon? How dare you speak to me in that way,” she exclaimed, the tension growing between them. “Who do you think you are!”  
  
“God forgive me,” he said while reaching his hands out, grabbing hold of her waist and pulled her body to his. He knew he was taking a risk, but he just wanted to hold her and he couldn’t hold back anymore.   
  
“What –,” was all she managed to say before his lips crushed down on hers. She tried to resist at first, but feeling his soft lips hard against hers, eliciting a moan from deep within her, she found herself melting against his frame.  


Joseph couldn’t believe what had come over him, he knew that the tension had grown between them since that first kiss, he just never expected this to happen and she wasn’t even pushing him away. Wrapping his arms around her waist he lifted her and carried her until her back pressed against the wall in her office, causing her to break the kiss in surprise and gasp against his lips at the sudden contact. 

  
Cupping her bottom, he lifted her so her body was flush with his and buried his face in the crook of her neck as she locked her arms around his neck. But biting her lip, and feeling his kisses on her jaw, she suddenly came to her senses. “Joseph, put me down.” She asked softly. 

Lowering her back onto her feet, Joseph glanced down at her swollen lips before looking back up into her eyes as she smoothed her hands down his arms. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s fine,” she said quietly and put her hand up between then, pressing her forefinger against his lips before lovingly gripping his jaw. “I would do anything, and I mean absolutely anything to live a life with you if I could. I mean, I don’t just listen to anyone and change my whole wardrobe based on what someone says if there wasn’t anything there, if I didn’t feel anything. But we can’t be together, Joseph, I’m sorry.”

“I understand,” he nodded and gave her one last, lingering kiss as she snaked her arms back around his shoulders. 

Breaking the kiss a moment later, he rested his forehead against hers momentarily before pulling back and walking out of her office, leaving her stood leaning back against the wall, her pulse fast, heart racing... and aching.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, this chapter picks up from the scene between Joseph and Clarisse in her office right after Mia leaves following their discussion about what happened at the beach party the night before.

“Why didn’t she have enough common sense to deal with this?” Clarisse exclaimed from behind her desk.  
  
“She’s only 15,” he began, and watched as she looked away a moment, that slight twist and shake of head seemed to anger him – as if his view was below consideration, still he went on, “but today, she acted beyond her years. She showed great respect and gracefully accepted your criticism.”  
  
“You’re saying that as a Queen, I was too harsh on her.” She said and got to her feet to walk around to stand in front of him. “I was critical of the person who could become the next ruler of my country.”  
  
“No, I’m saying as a grandmother you might have been too harsh on your granddaughter.”  
  
With a sigh, she looked away for just a second before looking back at him. “Do you think she can do it?” She asked.  
  
“Oh, I have no doubts, ma’am.” Replied Joseph with a small shake of his head.  
  
“I thought so, too,” Clarisse said with a nod of her head.  
  
"Then why, and forgive me for saying so, but why react in such a way? Was there a need to be so harsh? So judgemental?" Joseph said.  
  
She felt her heart toughen at the question, she had never been one to take criticism well. "I have a job to do, Joseph, and so does she. First and foremost, protect the crown. You know that."  
  
"And the affection that has grown between you since we arrived,” Joseph said while indicating the photo of them in the photobooth from several days earlier sitting on her side table, “that ceases to exist at these moments, does it?" He asked and watched as she momentarily glanced at the photo before looking back at him.  
  
She had never known him be so hard with her, had she underestimated his pain so much? His hurt over her rebuttal? Just three days ago, right in that very office that they were stood in now, they had shared a moment of intense pleasure and now here they were, arguing. She had thought the ridiculous resignation would blow over within a week and things would return to normal. Clearly not.  
  
"One cannot let feelings interfere at these times Joseph, surely you..."  
  
"Yes, I know Clarisse. I know very well." Joseph interrupted. “But this isn’t about us, is it? It’s about you and your granddaughter, and on this occasion I feel that you were wrong to be so harsh and judgemental.”  
  
“Excuse me?” Clarisse exclaimed as she studied him. The truth was, she was starting to regret telling him about what she and the Prime Minister had talked about the day before leaving for San Francisco if Mia was to abdicate as Genovia’s Princess. It had caused nothing but revelations and arguments between them ever since.  
  
“You heard me, just because you are distracted by other matters, don’t take it out on your granddaughter, the girl who has done so much over this last few weeks to keep you happy.” He said.  
  
“GET OUT!” She snapped at him, her gaze darting towards a figure stood by the door. “Oh, Charlotte.”  
  
“Your majesty,” Charlotte said, somewhat shyly as she averted her gaze to Joseph, who had turned his back to her. “I just wanted to let you know, the press are ready for you when you are,” she said while looking back at the Queen.  
  
“Thank you Charlotte, I will be right there.” Clarisse nodded and watched as she made a hasty retreat. Taking a deep breath she turned her head to look at the man who had challenged her in so many ways and was now standing and arguing with her in the very spot where they'd shared such a loving moment only days before. “This is not over!”  
  
X  
  
“Well, I’m glad that’s over with,” the Queen said as she and her assistant, Charlotte, walked back to her office together after the meeting with the press. “I don’t think I could have taken another minute in there, but I do believe it was a success.”  
  
“You were impressive in there, your majesty, especially handling all those questions they fired at you,” Charlotte said as she looked at her highness and noticed how distant, how distracted she looked after her argument with Joseph. “Forgive me, ma’am, but are you alright? I mean after earlier with Joseph.”  
  
“Yes, Charlotte, thank you,” Clarisse nodded and clasped her hands together in front of her as she glanced at her assistant before looking on ahead, “it’s nothing I can’t handle.”  
  
“As you wish, your majesty,” Charlotte said as she watched her a moment more before also looking on ahead to find Lord Michaels chatting with Lars and Stephen by the security desk.  
  
“Your majesty,” Lord Michaels exclaimed, smiling, as he noticed both women walking towards them. “There you are, I was wondering when you would grace us with your presence.”  
  
“Lord Michaels,” Clarisse said, surprised as she and Charlotte come to a stop, standing beside him as Lars and Stephen got back to work. “How lovely to see you, but what are you doing here?”  
  
“I’m here with the other dignitaries of course,” he said and took hold of Clarisse’s hand, raising it up to his mouth to kiss the back of it before looking back up into her eyes, “for the Genovian Independence Day ball, remember?” He said.  
  
“Oh,” she exclaimed, suddenly coming to realise, for the first time that day since Mia had told her that morning that she was to abdicate the throne, that her fate was now sealed to this man standing right in front of her.  
  
“You had forgotten?” Lord Michaels said and lowered their hands, feeling disheartened that she appeared to have forgotten.  
  
“No, no,” Clarisse said and laughed a little, with a shake of her head and a shrug of her shoulders. “Of course I hadn’t forgotten, I was just surprised to see you here now, that’s all.” She said and looked back up at him. “Forgive me, I have just come out of a meeting with the press, my mind was elsewhere.”  
  
“Oh that is understandable, you are a busy, busy woman after all,” Lord Michaels smiled as Clarisse pulled her hand free from his grasp. “So busy in fact, I bet you don’t even have time to take a walk with me around the gardens, do you?”  
  
She wasn’t at all sure a walk with him was what she needed, but getting outside and breathing in the air would no doubt do wonders to clear her head. “I would like that actually, yes,”  
  
Lord Michaels grinned as he nodded and extended his arm out, gesturing for her to lead the way, “After you.”  
  
“Why thank you,” Clarisse said and led him outside.  
  
  
X  


Returning from his afternoon jog, Joseph stopped on the edge of the consulate garden a moment and put his hand up on a pillar to catch his breath when he saw her, his Queen, and she wasn't alone. She was walking, and laughing, with Lord Michaels. He knew his arrival was imminent, especially with the Independence Day ball just days away, but he hadn't expected to see the two of them together in that moment. In that setting. Walking, and obviously happy together and he suddenly felt cheated. Deceived even.

Standing completely still, as not to be seen, Joseph kept his head down and continued to watch them walk. He, that man, had one hand on her lower back whilst his other pointed to a rose Bush a few feet in front of them. He noted that it obviously didn't bother her, him touching her where he'd had his own hand on more than one occasion. The most recent just a few days ago when they shared the most magical dance in the grand hall after Mia’s dance lesson. 

Closing his eyes, he remembered how wonderful it felt to have her so close to him, his hands on her body. The way she moved in perfect sync with him, her hips moving so easily with his like they belonged together. But his mind then wandered to the intimate moment they shared in her office, where they had been flush with one another, the way her soft skin felt against his lips as he kissed his way along her jaw and he knew he would never experience it again.

And feeling his blood to begin to boil, he made sure that the coast was clear before he resumed his jog. Shaking his head to try to clear the image of the two of them together - but it stubbornly stuck with him through the day. 

  
  
  
X  
  
Taking a few moments, finally, to herself later that evening after a busy day, Clarisse sat behind her desk and studied the envelope she held in her hands. The same envelope that Joseph had given her just days earlier. The same envelope that contained his resignation letter. And the same envelope that could seal Joseph’s fate and future with the Genovian royal family if she were to accept it.  
  
She hadn’t wanted to take it to seriously when he first gave it to her, thought it would all blow over, until their argument earlier that day. She was still angry at him for how much he had changed since she had confided her dilemma to him. Sure, a lot of things had changed on that trip. But being together, like both she and Joseph had secretly hoped, and would do anything for, is certainly not one of them.  
  
She would do absolutely anything to be with him, and she knew that he would do the same, he proved it the other night when he offered to quit his job to marry her if it would save her from marrying Lord Michaels. But it’s just not meant to be, not between her and Joseph anyway and with Mia now abdicating the throne, her fate with Lord Michaels was practically sealed.  
  
Letting out a heavy sigh Clarisse placed the envelope down on her desk and picked up her teacup to take a sip of her tea before placing her cup back down and looking towards the window. “Why can’t I just be with a man that would make me happy?” she said quietly to herself when a knock came to her door. Turning her head, she looked over knowing exactly who it was. “Come in.” She called out.  
  
Opening the door, Joseph stepped inside and looked over at her sitting behind her desk. “You wanted to see me, your majesty,” he said and closed the door behind him before looking back over at her.  
  
“Yes, I did.” She said with a nod of her head and gestured to the seat in front of her desk, “come.” She said and watched as he took the seat she offered in front of her. “Firstly, I want to thank you for coming this late in the evening, I know it was your afternoon off so I appreciate you taking the time.”  
  
“Yes, your majesty,” he said, he had resolved to remain stoic and calm when he saw her next, to give minimal responses and lock his feelings away just as she so wished. But he was not made of stone or ice and his jealousy got the better of him, “Did you enjoy your walk earlier with Lord Michaels?”  
  
“I’m sorry?” She answered, completely unaware that he had obviously witnessed their short walk in the garden.  
  
“Your walk earlier this afternoon, with Lord Michaels?” He said, “Did you enjoy it? I was only asking because it looked like you did from where I was standing. In fact, you looked quite happy with him. It actually got me thinking...”  
  
“Joseph, whatever you saw,” Clarisse said and shook her head, “he’s a good friend, that’s all.”  
  
“I understand he’s a friend, your majesty,” he said and got to his feet and moved around to stand behind the chair he had been sat in and placed his hands on the back of it as his Queen watched. “It’s just seeing you actually looking quite cosy with him, I suddenly found myself feeling cheated. Cheated for all those times you told me he would never make you happy, cheated over the moment we shared right in this office the other day, and it made me realise that, now we know Mia is abdicating, that man will get to be near you, more than I ever will be. He’ll get to touch you, hold you and love you... and I never will. He’ll get to spend the rest of his life loving you, whether you like it or not, and I know that you wanted me to stay, even asking if I’ll wait until we knew what Mia’s decision will be, but now we know I don’t see no other reason for me to remain, do you?”  
  
Momentarily looking down at the envelope still sitting on her desk, Clarisse took a deep breath and looked back up at him. “Do you have any idea how I am feeling through all of this? Have you ever stopped to consider what I might want? I have already told you that I would do absolutely anything to be with you if I could, but unfortunately it will never be and that breaks my heart more than you will ever know.”  
  
“But you can do something about it?” He said and watched as she shook her head while looking away. “Mia is abdicating, so who are you exactly keeping the crown for?” He asked and watched as she looked back at him. “You are not royal by blood, and with Mia abdicating you have no reason to continue fighting to keep the throne.”  
  
“How dare you!” Clarisse snapped, her heart shattering into a million pieces over the fact that they were once again arguing, “You don’t know me at all, do you? After I have worked so hard, I’m not just about to give it up.”  
  
“Then you don’t mean what you say, I was willing to give up my job for you, just as I’ve made a sacrifice after sacrifice to remain by your side all these years – I hardly see my own family, I’ve given up the chance of having one of my own, no partner, no wife, no children, just so I could be close to you. To care for you. I would marry you in an instant. And not because of some silly promise to some Lord, to save you from an unwanted arranged marriage, but because I love you with all my heart. This has all been because I love you, and after what you told me the other day I thought you loved me too. But I guess I was wrong.”  
  
Clarisse could hardly speak, her throat felt tight, and the blood was pumping so fast through her veins that she felt like her pulse might explode out from beneath her skin. Never had she known such pain, or guilt, over loving someone. She had never had to face anything like this, and despite her years of royal service and the many challenges she’d had to face, the awkward moments where she’d had to think on her feet and act in the moment – none of that was of any use right now, because the only thing that really mattered was how she felt and what was in her heart and yet she knew, the logical side of her brain knew, that she couldn’t share that with him.  
  
She realised in that moment that she couldn’t give him the hope that one day they might be together, because the reality was they never would be, so maybe he was right, maybe it would be easier if he just left now and had some chance of a life outside of the palace walls… A life away from her.  
  
“I think you should go,” she said softly, afraid of her own voice and the evident crack in it.  
  
Without saying another word, Joseph left.  
  
Once he had close the door he gripped the handle, closed his eyes and tried to will away the pain inside. It was late and the foyer outside her office was empty, dark and quiet, he stood there for long moments trying to move his feet.  
  
Inside he had a slight movement, and for a second he thought she was coming out and she would catch him standing there like a child who had been chastised when he only wanted to please. And then he heard her gasp for air, the strangled cry in the back of her throat, and still it took his brain a moment or 2 to catch up with the fact that she was crying. That she was alone in there, as she was alone in life, and she cried alone because she couldn’t do it in front of anyone, even him. His heart longed to go to her, to take her in his arms, comfort her, make everything okay.  
  
But he didn’t have that right. He didn’t have that power nor standing, certainly not within society, and not even within the palace hierarchy. He was keenly aware of his own social standing and how far below her he was. The only thing he could do was walk away.


	7. Chapter 7

After getting ready for her day, Queen Clarisse made her way downstairs to her office, where she would find Charlotte waiting for her, ready to go over the day’s schedule and deliver messages. 

It had been a long three days since she and Joseph had argued again, but it had made her actually sit and think about everything that had been going on... and it had prompted her to finally make a decision about her own future. 

Smiling, she walked across the foyer towards her assistant. “Good morning, Charlotte.”

“Good morning, your majesty,” Charlotte smiled as she took the sticky notes with the messages on for her from the clipboard in her arms grasp. “Here are your messages, and I have your gift for Princess Mia ready to go when you leave.”

“That’s wonderful, thank you, Charlotte,” she said while coming to a stop in front of her and took the notes, glancing down at them momentarily before looking back up at her. “I have requested an unscheduled meeting with Lord Michaels before I go over to see Mia later this morning, please can you send him through when he arrives?” Clarisse asked, unaware that Joseph stood across the foyer watching them.

He had entered at the same time as his Queen, and to avoid being seen he quickly stepped back and hid behind a pillar. After their latest argument, he thought it would be best to avoid her, give her space and only be there if she requested. But even now, listening to her voice and seeing her dressed in a beautiful pink dress suit made his heart race. To him she is, and always will be the most beautiful woman in the world and it broke him that they were arguing.

“As you please, your majesty,” Charlotte bowed her head before watching her turn and reach her hand out for her office door handle.

“And can you bring tea when he arrives too please?” Clarisse asked as she opened her door and turned back to her assistant.

“Of course, your majesty,” Charlotte smiled and followed her inside the office.

Having heard what was said between Charlotte and his Queen, Joseph looked down momentarily, a million reasons forming in his head as to why she had arranged an unscheduled meeting with Lord Michaels, but the most obvious was that it was to talk about the arranged marriage between them that would now take place with Princess Mia abdicating. 

X

Standing at the french doors in her office, arms folded with one hand up, her fingers absentmindedly toyed with the pendant on her necklace while trying to figure out the gentlest way to let Lord Michaels down. But no matter how hard she tried, her thoughts always turned back to the one person she couldn’t be with. The one person who has caused her so much hurt and anguish over the last few days, the one person whose name could still, and probably always would, cause her heart to skip a beat at the mere thought of it. 

Feeling a hand on her shoulder a moment later, she placed her hand flat on her chest, let out a soft sigh and tilted her head slightly while closing her eyes momentarily. She knew it wouldn’t be the person she longed it would be, she had noticed he was avoiding her, they had parted on not very good terms after all so she couldn’t really blame him. 

No, this was Lord Michaels and she was about to tell him her decision.

Turning to face him, she looked up and smiled. “Hello.”

“Hello,” he smiled, smoothing his hand down her arm to take her hand, raising it up to kiss the back of it. “I did knock.”

“Oh, I’m sorry I was a million miles away,” she replied while watching him kiss the back of her hand. 

“I thought you was,” he nodded and looked into her eyes as she pulled her hand free from his grasp.

“Thank you for coming at such short notice,” she said while gesturing to the sofa in her office. “Please won’t you sit with me?”

“I would love to,” he smiled and led the way to the seating area, “I must say I was surprised when you called earlier this morning, requesting a meeting with me today of all days.”

“I know, but this couldn’t wait any longer,” she said and watched as he sat down on one end of the sofa. Smoothing her hands down the back of her skirt, she too took a seat on the other end of the sofa and looked up at him. 

“So, what would you like to talk to me about so urgently?” He said while turning his body slightly, leaning back into the corner of the sofa with one arm resting along the back of the cushions and his other arm resting on the armrest. 

Taking a deep breath, and still trying to find the right words she looked back up at him. “Well I know that you are fully aware about future plans based on my granddaughter's decision to abdicate.”

“I am fully aware, yes,” he nodded, “and I must say, I have given it a great deal of thought since the Prime Minister told me.” 

“I have too,” Clarisse agreed and nodded. “And there is no other way to tell you this, but I can not marry you.”

“I’m sorry?” He replied while raising his eyebrow. “But I thought your granddaughter was abdicating?” 

“She is, yes,” she nodded, “and I know that Parliament want me to remarry to continue to rule, but I am not ready for that. Not yet at least. I was married to Rupert for 45 years through an arranged marriage, and I’m not ready to go through all that again.” 

“I see,” Lord Michaels replied and looked across the room a moment.

“Don’t get me wrong though, Edward, I appreciate everything you have done for me the last two years,” she said as he looked back at her, “and you have impeccable breeding, any woman would be lucky to have you,”

“But just not lucky enough to have you?” He asked and watched as she shook her head. 

“I’m sorry, no,” she replied and watched as he nodded ever so slightly. 

X

After talking with Mr Robutusen, Joseph moved to stand back beside the limousine while waiting patiently for his Queen to return. She was currently in her granddaughter's house, talking to her about this evening's ball and to give her the birthday present from her father early, with them returning to Genovia the day after tomorrow she thought today would be the best day to do it. 

And seeing her walking towards him a short time later, Joseph quickly opened the door for her and stepped back. Watching her as she paused and turned to look back at the firehouse her granddaughter lived, her scarf billowing slightly in the wind. 

“Is everything alright, your majesty?” Joseph asked and watched as she turned back to him.

“Yes,” Clarisse nodded and put her hand up onto the door, “thank you Joseph.”

“What for?” He asked. 

“For helping me understand,” she replied and climbed into the back of the limousine. The tension between them was still there, she knew it was partly her fault but she still felt angry, hurt over his actions that she didn’t even know if they could even repair what they had before.

Closing her door, Joseph took a deep breath and climbed into the driver's seat. Starting the engine, he looked up at his rear view mirror to steal a look at her. His Queen. She was staring blankly out of the window, her hands resting together in her lap, and like always, her legs were crossed at the ankle. 

“Is it back to the consulate now, your majesty?” He asked, still looking at her in the rear view mirror.

Looking on ahead, she watched as he turned in his seat to look back at her. “Yes please, thank you Joseph.”

“Of course, your majesty,” he said and bowed his head to her before turning to sit back properly in his seat. Pulling away from the curb, Joseph tried his best to concentrate on the road, but her staring out of the window the way she was, was distracting him. “I’m sorry that things haven’t worked out how you had hoped with your granddaughter, your majesty.” He said, glancing between the road and her in his rear view window. 

Looking up towards him, Clarisse nodded before looking back out of the window a moment as tears filled her eyes. Looking down, she closed her eyes and shook her head, to keep from speaking as her throat tightened.


	8. Chapter 8

Seeing her crying in the rear view mirror, Joseph knew he had to do something. He just couldn’t drive on with her crying in the back of the limousine, he’d already walked away from her once this week when she sat crying alone in her office and he couldn’t do it again. No matter their differences, he had to be there for her this time. So, pulling into a parking space a few blocks away from Mia’s home, Joseph shut off the engine and climbed from the car. Right at that moment in time he didn’t care about the rules, not when she needed someone.

It was only when he slammed the driver's door shut that Clarisse realised that they had actually stopped moving, and lifting her head, tears running down over her cheeks, she waited in anticipation of his actions. 

Opening the back passenger door just seconds later, Joseph climbed in beside her and shut the door up behind him. Turning, he extended his hand out to her. “I’m sorry but right now I don’t care about protocol, Clarisse. You need someone, and I’m here.”

Taking the tissue he offered from his hand, she nodded, “Thank you,” she said tearfully and dabbed under her eyes. 

“Come here,” Joseph said softly, and took her hand to pull her closer to him before wrapping his arms around her as she rested her head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry for the way I have been acting these last few weeks,” he began a moment later as she took a deep breath in his embrace, “it was wrong of me to behave in such a manner when you have had so much going on already. You didn’t need the extra stress, but it’s just when you told me that you might have to go through another arranged marriage and, well... you know how I feel about Lord Michaels. I just couldn’t hold my feelings for you back anymore and hope that you can forgive me for acting so foolishly.”

She smiled bashfully, "I don’t think you foolish and I’m sorry too,” she added softly and sat up to look at him, “I do love you, you know?” 

“I know you do,” he nodded and put his hand up to brush her hair back behind her ear as she bit her bottom lip and looked down at her hands resting together in her lap. “And, I love you too.” He said softly and watched as she looked back up at him, “I think I always will.”

“Oh Joseph, I so wish that we could be together,” she cried as he once again pulled her into his embrace and just held her. 

“I know, me too,” he nodded while smoothing his hand up and down her back, comforting her as she cried against his chest. “I know it’s hard being in the situation you're in. Unique.”

“It really is,” she nodded and sat back up to look into his eyes, “but I have told Edward this morning that no matter what, I can’t marry him, so please, Joseph, no matter how hard it gets, or no matter what happens, please don’t give up on me just yet? Because I don’t think I can do this if I didn’t have you here.” 

Reaching his hand out, he took hold of one of her hands and gently caressed the back of it with his thumb. “I won’t, but might I ask you do the same for your granddaughter?” He asked and watched as she nodded while looking down. 

“I won’t,” she said a moment later and looked back up at him. 

X

Arriving back at the consulate a short time later, Joseph sent the Queen up to her suite while he personally fetched her some tea. But by the time he had prepared it and took it up to her suite, she was fast asleep on her sofa. Tilting his head slightly he gazed at her a moment, and knowing how tired she was he decided to let her rest. 

Placing the tea tray down on her coffee table, he picked up a throw from the back of the armchair and carefully covered her over with it before quietly leaving her to rest, praying that he didn’t wake her on the way out. Closing the door behind him, he turned to make his way downstairs to get back to his duties when Charlotte appeared, heading straight for the Queen’s suite. 

“Ahh, Charlotte,” he said, quickly blocking her path. “You can’t go in there.”

“Why ever not?” Charlotte exclaimed in surprise and raised her eyebrow at him. “Her highness needs to start getting ready for tonight’s ball.”

“She’s asleep,” he said and watched as her expression softened, “so can you, if possible, wait at least a half hour before waking her? She is rather tired and I think that short nap would help her a great deal, especially for tonight’s ball.” 

“I don’t know Joe, I don’t want her to be annoyed because she’s running late because you told me not to wake her,” Charlotte said, worried about the consequences.

“Please don’t worry about it, but if she does get annoyed just point her in my direction,” he said and half smiled at her, “listen Charlotte, I know a lot has happened these last couple of weeks, even to the point of us avoiding one another but I can assure you that we talked today and everything is alright.” 

Looking up, Charlotte studied his face a moment before nodding. “Alright Joe, I will let her sleep for now. But only for half hour, once that’s up I wake her.”

“Thank you,” he smiled.

“Just be prepared to face the consequences though, as I really don’t think she’ll be happy,” Charlotte said and watched as Joseph laughed. 

“I’ll be ready,” he smiled. 

“I am glad you talked though, the tension between you was getting too much to bare,” Charlotte said. 

X

Looking at herself in the mirror in her closet, Clarisse put her hand up onto her chest, her fingers resting on the diamond necklace around her neck se she let out a sigh. She’d had a life of glamour and fortune, and although she still needed to talk to the Prime Minister about her own decision with turning Lord Michaels down, she began to wonder with her granddaughter abdicating, could she do the same?

If she too abdicated, handed the crown over to the Von Trokens, she would be free. Free to live the life she wanted, free to love, and be with who she wanted. Free to be with Joseph, at last. But before she had a chance to think too much into the idea, a knock came to her suite door. 

“Come in, I’ll be right out,” she called and pressed a hand to her knotted stomach as she closed her eyes momentarily. But taking a deep breath a moment later, she turned to make her way over to the door when she saw Joseph standing smiling at her from the doorway. “Hello.” She smiled back. 

“Hello,” he said, the sight of her stood in her closet taking his breath away as he walked over to stand in front of her. 

“I must say that you are lucky you arrived when you did, had you been 5 minutes earlier you would have caught me getting into this dress,” she said brazenly and glanced down at her dress before looking back up at him. Watching him look away as he cleared his throat, she couldn’t help but chuckle to herself. “But not to worry, I had a ladies maid here that helped zip me up,” she said while turning to walk over to her dressing table and picked up her white gloves. 

“I would have been happy to help, had my help been needed,” he said and watched as she turned back to him while slipping on her white gloves, “but I am glad that you had a ladies maid here to help you.”

“Me too actually,” she said and looked down at her hands, smoothing out the fingers of her gloves a moment before looking back up at him with a mischievous look in her eyes. “Anyway, are you here to escort me down?”

“I am, of course,” he said and bowed his head, “and to make sure you were okay after our chat earlier on.” 

“I am,” she nodded, “I am glad that we finally talked though, and cleared the air between us. I feel much better now that we have.”

“Me too,” he said and watched as she walked over to stand in front of him. Taking her gloved hand, he kissed the back of it before looking up into her beautiful blue eyes, “dare I say, you look exquisite this evening.”

“You may, and thank you,” she smiled and gestured towards the door, “shall we make our way down?”

“Of course, your... Clarisse,” he smiled.

“Better,” she laughed and began leading the way when she suddenly remembered something, “oh yes, I know what I wanted to say to you. I have been advised that I need to talk to you over Charlotte letting me sleep for a half hour before she woke me up to prepare for this evening?” She said while turning back to him and studied his face.

“Guilty as charged,” he laughed and watched as she lovingly put her hand up to cup his cheek. 

“Thank you for doing that, because after breaking down the way I did while we were out I needed that short sleep,” she smiled, leaving her hand against his cheek longer than she normally would, which felt like a lifetime to both her and Joseph, before she finally lowered her hand and turned her head away.

“You’re welcome, Clarisse,” he said softly and watched as she averted her gaze to him before smiling, her tummy filled with butterflies at the sound of him saying her name. 

X

Tonight had gone much better than anyone could have expected, they had all prepared for Mia to abdicate the throne but after finding a letter from her late father hidden in the gift he had left for her, she surprised them all by announcing that she would be from tonight, forever Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi, Princess of Genovia and Clarisse couldn’t be happier. 

And after the traditional dance shared with the Prime Minister, which then ended with Joseph, Queen Clarisse stood with a glass of champagne while watching her granddaughter dancing with her friends and noticed how happy she was and that, in turn, made her very happy also. 

“How are you feeling?” Joseph asked as he moved to stand beside Clarisse as she turned her head to look at him with a smile. 

“Oh Joseph, I’m ecstatic,” she smiled at him then back at her granddaughter another moment before taking a sip of her champagne.

“Me too,” he nodded as she turned sideways to him. 

“As a thank you, for everything that you have done for me during this trip, even when things were falling apart between us,” she said while reaching her hand out to place her glass down on the table before looking back up at him. “I wondered if you might care to join me up on my balcony for a celebratory glass of wine?” She asked quietly.

“Well, wouldn’t you want to stay down here, keep an eye on the young ones?” He asked in surprise.

“No,” she said with a shake of her head while looking over at her granddaughter and her friends once again. “I’m too old for this kind of thing now, I want to leave this part of tonight to them,” she said and looked back at him. 

“Then, in that case I would love to.” He smiled. 

“Wonderful,” she said and smiled as they made their way from the ballroom, her stomach doing somersaults as he took hold of her hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing the back of it while looking lovingly into her eyes. 

A short time later, Joseph stepped out onto the Queen’s balcony with two glasses of wine and watched as Clarisse, the woman who he loved wholeheartedly, turned to him. “Here you go,” he smiled and handed her a glass, “may I make a toast?”

“Oh absolutely,” Clarisse smiled as she carefully held her glass in both of her hands. 

“Alright,” he smiled and nodded slightly before continuing, “to your granddaughter and our new Princess. May she continue to make us proud and reign for as long as her beautiful grandmother has.” 

“That was lovely of you to say, thank you,” Clarisse smiled and raised her glass, “to Mia.”

“To Mia,” Joseph smiled as they clinked glasses before taking a sip of their wine. Lowering his hand, he watched Clarisse a moment as she stared down at her glass. “What’s wrong?” He asked while reaching one hand out, placing it on the top of her arm. 

Looking up, she shook her head and smiled. “Nothing, I was just thinking that’s all.”

“About what?” He asked and watched as she glanced away a moment before looking back at him. 

“Well, I have given my ladies maid the night off, and it’s just dawned on me that I still need to get out of this dress.” She said and watched as he swallowed hard.

“Ahh,” he replied. 

“I mean don’t get me wrong, this dress is beautiful, but it’s also very large and rather cumbersome.. and I wondered if you might help me, get out of it?” She said with a slight shrug and gorgeous smile. “Or I am afraid to say that I may be stuck in it all night.”

“Well, in that case, we can’t have you stuck in this dress all night, can we?” Joseph smiled and watched as Clarisse laughed. 

The End.


End file.
